Are there times when you would rather just shut down WhatsApp and Facebook so that your folks don’t get to use social media? Well, I am at that point in my life!
So unfortunately for me, my mom has suddenly gotten a knack for online messaging (Only last year, getting her to read a simple text message was an absolute waste of time).
You know I had planned to be all shades of active on my social media till I discovered this woman reads all of my posts then calls at night and tries to have a heart to heart **eyes rolling**.
So my dearest Ekwutosilam MJ Nwogu AKA Mama Ejima, Iya Beji calls me up last night and as we are about to call it a night, she bursts out “Nne mommy, (in Igbo of course) did you people hear of that girl that contracted HIV from eating water melons she bought from a Mallam in their street”? At first, I am thinking, is this woman kidding me right now but oh no, she ain’t so she continues… “After eating the water melons, she discovered she had the virus and took people to query the Mallam who after much beating admitted that he cut his fingers but did not take care of the wound and the blood by luck, spilled on the fruit and infected the chick”.
After taking 19 minutes of her airtime to convince this 51 year old woman that it was absolutely impossible to get the Virus from eating water melons or even discovering you have the virus on such short notice, I spent 20 extra minutes cussing out these Facebook lunatics who enjoy writing pieces of bullshit.
I know you are reading this mom, I love you pretty…