So guys, my crazy ass friend introduced me to PulseNigeriaHot; an Instagram account that ensures that they scour the internet for the most lucid sensual photos to share with the most apt innuendos as captions.
After accidentally stumbling on another very creative photo and of course waking up to the trending photo of Nollywood former bad boy star, Jim Iyke, taking a public piss, I have no choice but to take the time to pen down these few notes ( just in case my kinda guy is reading this, please and please… do the NEEDFUL).
1. There is and will never be anything sexy about a man who brings out his ding dong in public all in the name of taking a piss!
If I had a winkee attraction for your black behind, it’s flushing away with that piss. Life is too serious to have a shameless man to deal with. Just thought to drop that here.
2. I ain’t fit as a war horse but that don’t mean I need a sloppy fat brother sliding anywhere near me. I used to think I liked chubby men with just a little tummy but thankfully, that went away with puberty. I insist on some obvious muscles like this blessed brother but without the oils…
3. Deliberate accenting ain’t my thing, you can ask brother Emma! If you are one of those spuri-spuru soul brothers, WAIT! That’s the door. No too much talk.
4. Public Boozer who can’t manage a simple HIGHNESS situation? You might as well get some butt implants. I won’t call you a man! A man should at all times maintain decorum. If you don’t know your gauge, get high at home. Period.
Talking is a WOMAN thing and I am still a FEMINIST. Something turns me off with a man who talks too much. Say little and act more even JAMES BOND knows that. If you are still in doubt, ask Khal Drogo.
AND YES I DO…
1. Gimme some of that HOLY GHOST. Asides all of the physicals, nothing ever beats a man who understands his place in the household of Christ. Give me that Jesus boy and there we have a long yard of marriage material.
2. A Purpose Driven Man. Something has to keep you up at night as I can’t go to sleep myself. While I pursue my dreams, you have to be busy with yours so you don’t have enough time to complain if I at anytime make more bucks than you.
Point is many of the things most African men find masculine are a total turn off and even though this post might make you laugh, I simply pointed it out.
DISCLAIMER: This post came from a place of joy. Don’t take it too seriously, laugh and SHARE…